‘Baby’ continued...

Written by Bob Brush, Alex Taub; Directed by Randall Zisk; (as "fanscribed" by Janet)

Pictures for "Baby"

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RETURN TO PART 1

[MCGINTY'S MAIN DINING ROOM. GARY AND MARISSA SEATED AT TABLE, TALKING.]

Marissa: You got to be joking, right?

Gary: Nope.

Marissa: She came to your hotel room? Why?

Gary: I'm not sure exactly.

Marissa: Well, what did she say?

Gary: She said she wanted to talk. She said…

[FLASHBACK TO GARY'S CONFRONTATION WITH MARCIA.]

Marcia: I've been thinking.

Gary: About?

Marcia: About us.

Gary: Us? You've been thinking about us? As in yesterday-at-the-lawyer's-office us?

Marcia: I don't know. You seem different. More... involved.

Gary: Look, Marcia, I think - -

Marcia: Is there someone new in your life?

[FROM THE PRESENT, WE HEAR MARISSA'S VOICE. SCENE REMAINS IN THE PAST.]

Marissa: And you said…

Gary: I think you should go.

Marcia: Look, I know this sounds crazy, but... if you want, we could have dinner. You know, sometime.

Gary: Well, you know, I don't, I, I - -

Marcia: How about tonight?

Gary: Huh?

[SCENE CHANGES BACK TO MCGINTY'S]

Marissa: And you said?

Gary: I told her I'd think about it.

Marissa: Oh, brother.

Gary: Well, what am I supposed to do? She's my wife... my ex-wife.

Marissa: For the moment, anyway.

Gary: I'm telling you, this thing's driving me crazy. I mean, I got the paper, I got Marcia and I keep seeing, I keep - - I just keep getting distracted. I'm just... /sigh/ How's Chuck?

Marissa: Last I saw of him, fine.

[AMY'S OFFICE]

Chuck: Yeah, this ought to be safe.

[DOOR OPENS. AMY ENTERS AND TRIES TO GET CHUCK'S ATTENTION ON HER AND OFF OF HIS REAL PURPOSE IN COMING TO HER OFFICE. SHE REMOVES HER GLASSES AND LOOKS AT HIM SULTRILY.]

Amy: Hi.

Chuck: Oh, dear. (Turns away) Oh, no.

[MARISSA AND GARY WALKING OUT OF MCGINTY'S]

Marissa: So how did it go downtown?

Gary: What?

Marissa: The water main break? Did you stop it?

Gary: Not exactly.

Marissa: Oh, distracted again, huh?

Gary: Well, let's just say that, uh… I'm lucky it wasn't something more serious.

[GARY CHECKS THE PAPER AGAIN AND SEES:]

WATER MAIN SNAFU CAUSES CITYWIDE BLACKOUT

Gary: Oh, boy. This wasn't here before.

[AMY'S OFFICE. AMY IS COMING ON STRONG TO A NERVOUS CHUCK. SHE BACKS HIM UP AGAINST A WALL, BUT HE SQUIRMS AWAY. CHUCK CONTINUES TO SLOWY BACK AWAY FROM A PERSISTENT AMY.]

Chuck: Uh, Amy, listen…

Amy: Anything, Chuck.

Chuck: Do you really think this is a good idea? I mean, here in your office?

Amy: I canceled my appointments.

Chuck: What about your secretary?

Amy: I sent her home.

Chuck: Oh, no. Well, what if something happens? Like...

Amy: You remember that night, Chuck?

Chuck: Yeah. Yeah. But, what if there's an emergency?

Amy: The orchids in the drinks?

Chuck: I mean, don't you have to be here? What if you're not ready and they walk in and then - -

[AMY BACKS CHUCK INTO A CHAIR.]

Amy: Oh, I'm ready.

Chuck: No. That's not what I mean. I mean - -

Amy: You were amazing.

Chuck: No, listen. Amy, listen, Amy, I... I was?

Amy: Mm-hmmm. /sigh/

Chuck: Listen! I'm going to deliver a baby!

Amy: Uh-huh. Fine with me.

[CHUCK EXITS AMY'S OFFICE IN A HURRY AND CLOSES THE DOOR BEHIND HIM.]

Amy: Chuck?

Chuck: See you later.

Amy: Oh, Chucky? Chucky!

[CONSTRUCTION SITE: WATER AND HOSES AND BARRIERS ARE EVERYWHERE.]

Gary: Hey!

Foreman: Him again.

Gary: Turn that thing off.

Foreman: What thing?

Gary: The pump!

Mankewitz: What?

Foreman: He wants you to turn the thing off?

Mankewitz: What thing?

Foreman: The pump!

Worker: Why?

Foreman (to Gary): Why?

Gary: Because you're going to blackout half the city.

Foreman (to Mankewitz): Because you're going to blackout half the city.

Mankewitz: Oh. Can't do it.

Foreman (to Gary): Can't do it.

Gary: Why?

Foreman: Orders.

[CHUCK'S APARTMENT BUILDING. HE RUNS INTO THE LOBBY.]

Chuck: Ah. Ahh.

Doorman: Nice to see you, sir.

Chuck: Home. Thank you, Johnston.

[CHUCK HEADS TOWARDS THE STAIRS, TRIES THE KNOW, BUT THE DOOR IS LOCKED.]

Chuck: No. No, I can't take the elevator. No.

[ELEVATOR ARRIVES WITH A DING. CHUCK HESITATES UNTIL THE DOORS ARE ALMOST CLOSED.]

Chuck: Hold it. Um, could you press 35 please? Thank you.

[HE SPEAKS NERVOUSLY TO FELLOW PASSENGESR ON THE ELEVATOR.]

Chuck: How are you doing? Oh, a lot of laundry. Laundry day, huh?

[CONSTRUCTION SITE]

Gary: For the last time, I'm telling you, this is serious.

Foreman: What are you, some kind of electrician or something? Oh, wait a minute. I got it. A whatchamacallit - clairvoyant, right? Like on TV. Or, uh, that guy, uh, Jean Dixon.

Gary: No, no. I'm Superman, the difference being Superman had a life and job, and a girl! Me, I get this!

[GARY WALKS AWAY ANGRY AND THROWS THE PAPER IN A TRASH CAN.]

Foreman: Turn it off, Mankewitz. Hey, buddy we turned it off.

Gary: Thank you!

[GARY DOUBLE-TAKES BACK TO THE PAPER TO SEE A PICTURE OF THE MYSTERY BLONDE. SHE IS SITTING NEAR A FOUNTAIN WITH A CLOCK THAT SHOWS A TIME OF 5:12]

Gary: There she is.

Worker: Who

Gary: This girl by the fountain… At 5:12 tonight.

[CROWDED ELEVATOR IN CHUCK'S BUILDING]

Chuck: 15. Anyone getting off?

Passenger 1: Yeah

Passenger 2: Excuse me

Passenger 3: Sorry

Passenger 4: Excuse me

Chuck: Popular Floor

[CHUCK HUMS. HEARS BUMP BEHIND HIM.]

Sheila: Excuse me.

[TURNS AND SEES A VERY PREGNANT YOUNG WOMAN - SHEILA - WITH A LOAD OF LAUNDRY.]

Sheila: What are you looking at?

Chuck: Uh… Nothing. So… uh, when are you due?

Sheila: Excuse me?

Chuck: You look like you're ready to go… any second.

Sheila: I tell you what. Why don't I give you the date that I conceived, and you and I can do the math together? Unbelievable.

[CONSTRUCTION SITE: CITY BIGWIG ARRIVES ON THE SCENE AND IS NOT PLEASED WITH WHAT HE SEES.]

Bigwig: You, how come this pump's not running?

Foreman: Uh.. I..

Gary: I told them to turn it off.

Bigwig: Oh, you did, did you? On whose authority?

Foreman: Superman's.

[SCENE SWITCHES BRIEFLY BACK TO THE ELEVATOR. WHILE SHEILA WATCHES, PERPLEXED, CHUCK BEGINS TO PRESS THE BUTTONS FOR NEARLY EVERY FLOOR BETWEEN WHERE THEY ARE AND HIS STOP. SCENE SWITCHES BACK TO THE CONSTRUCTIONS SITE, WHERE THE BIGWIG WALKS OVER TO THE PUMP TO RESTART IT.]

Gary: No, I wouldn't - -

[BIGWIG FLIPS SWITCH. SPARKS FLY. A SMALL EXPLOSION OCCURS. THE EL STOPS RUNNING. LIGHTS GO OUT. ELEVATOR STOPS.]

[SCENE: ELEVATOR IN CHUCK'S BUILDING]

Chuck: Oh! Aah! Ohh. Just great.

[COMMERCIAL]

[EXTERIOR OF CHUCK'S BUILDING. POLICE CRUISERS PULL UP IN FRONT OF BUILDING. CHUCK AND PREGNANT WOMAN ARE TRAPPED ALONE IN THE ELEVATOR. CHUCK PULLS OUT A LIGHTER TO SEE WHAT'S HAPPENING. A CROWD IS GATHERED. COPS DOING CROWD CONTROL.]

Emergency Dispatcher: Proceeding to 140 Michigan Avenue. Elevator between floors. Two people on it.

[SIRENS BLARE]

[IN ELEVATOR]

Sheila: What did you do?

Chuck: Me? Nothing. Still just the two of us, right? Ha. Whoa, okay. Now let's get this baby moving again. Oh, no, no, no. Not *your* baby. This baby. The elevator. Now…I'm probably pretty good at this.

[CHUCK STARTS TO PUNCH BUTTONS.]

Chuck: It's stuck.

Sheila: Yeah.

Chuck: Well, no problem. I mean, these kinds of things happen all the time. You okay?

Sheila: I'm fine.

Chuck: I mean, okay. Here we are. We're trapped in the elevator. There's no reason for anyone to panic.

[SHEILA BURPS]

Chuck: What was that?

Sheila: What?

Chuck: That noise.

Sheila: I burped.

Chuck: Oh, well, that's okay. I mean, I just thought. You're still okay? I mean nothing's, like, uh, leaking.

Sheila: Would you do me a favor?

Chuck: Sure.

Sheila: Would you sit down and shut up? You're a strange man, and you're making me nervous.

[EXTERIOR OF CHUCK'S BUILDING]

Officer: Okay, everyone just be patient. The rescue squad is tied up at the Hancock. Keep those people back.

Marissa: Um, excuse me Officer. I have a friend that lives in this building. Is there something wrong?

Officer: Elevator's stuck. Twenty-eighth floor.

Marissa: Um, are there people on it?

Officer: You bet.

Marissa: Do you know who they are?

Officer: Not by name, but I can tell you this. One of them's pregnant. One of them's scared.

[MCGINTY'S. LIGHTS ARE OUT. MIKE THE BARTENDER IS THE ONLY PERSON IN THE BUILDING. GARY ENTERS. LOOKS TIRED AND DEJECTED.]

Gary: What's going on?

Mike: Not much, I'll tell you that.

Gary: Where is everybody?

Mike: That's the funny thing about bars - - no food, no TV, no lights, people tend not to hang around.

Gary: Well, how bad is it?

Mike: Half the city's blacked out. Rumor is some jackass downtown put the plug in the wrong socket.

Gary: That's not true.

Mike: What?

Gary: Nothing. You got something to drink?

Mike: Your choice - - water or melted ice?

Gary: Did you ever have a bad day, Mike? (Head down, shoulders slumped right arm on bar. Left hand on forehead. Taps other hand on bar.)

Mike: What do you call this?

Gary: No, I mean, one of those bad days - a really bad day - where everything goes wrong.

Mike: You mean, like the day I got married? First of all, it rained buckets, then the hors d'oeuvres turned brown, then the mother-in-law breaks her tooth on the wedding cake. I should have known right then.

Gary: Yeah. Maybe it would all be worth it if there was someone to come home to, huh? Someone who cares about you.

Mike: What? The fountain?

[TELEPHONE RINGS. MIKE CROSSES TO ANSWER IT.]

Mike: McGinty's. Yeah he's right here. Okay, I'll tell him. (Hang up the phone.) Marissa. She says to come quick. Your pal Fishman's in trouble. Something about... cutting open a frog?

[GARY DEPARTS QUICKLY]

[ELEVATOR. CHUCK IS TRYING TO REACH HELP ON THE PHONE.]

Chuck: Hello. Hello. Anyone there? I'll give you a buck to answer. Okay make it $50.

Man's voice: This is the building super.

Chuck: It's the building super.

Sheila: I'm sure I'm thrilled.

Chuck: Hello!

Building Super: We're working on getting you down.

Chuck: Good. When?

Building Super: Well, we don't know. Maybe an hour.

Chuck: An hour. Hang on. When did you say you were due?

Sheila: A month.

Chuck: An hour's too long. Can't you just pry the doors open?

Building Super: No good. You're stuck between floors.

Chuck: That's okay. We'll take that chance. Forget it. Bad idea.

[SHEILA MOANS.]

Chuck: Hang on. That was a burp again, wasn't it?

[SHEILA GROANS]

Chuck: Burp. I heard burp.

Sheila: I'm going to have the baby.

[SHE SLOWLY SLIDES DOWN THE ELEVATOR WALL TO SIT ON THE FLOOR]

Chuck: Uh, Houston, we have a problem.

[LOBBY OF CHUCK'S BUILDING. GARY ENTERS AND GOES TO MARISSA'S SIDE.]

Gary: Marissa?

Marissa: Hey, I'm glad you're here. It's happening.

Gary: The elevator, huh?

Marissa: In the elevator and there's no power.

Gary: Come on. Okay.

[INTERIOR OF ELEVATOR'

Chuck: What are you doing now?

Sheila: 1…2…3. I'm having contractions. I hope you're proud of yourself. 1... 2... 3..., 1... 2... 3...

Chuck: Oh, my God. Try counting backwards. Maybe it'll reverse the process.

Sheila: You're really a train wreck. You know that?

Chuck: It's not my fault. I didn't want to open up that damn frog!

Gary (on phone): Chuck, you there?

Chuck: Gar? Gar, is that you? Gar, you go to help me. Someone's in a lot of trouble.

[SCENE SWITCHES BACK AND FORTH BETWEEN GARY AND MARRISA IN THE LOBBY AND CHUCK AND SHEILA IN THE ELEVATOR]

Gary: All right, now listen, what's her name?

Chuck: Not her, me.

Sheila: Come here. Come. Here. 1…2…

Chuck: Hang on.

Sheila: Closer. 1… 2... 3... Bottom line - if you make this any more difficult, when this is over [she grabs Chuck by the tie] I will hunt…you…down. Is that clear? (Gasps)

Chuck: It's getting serious pal.

Gary: All right now listen. Keep your head. You can do this.

Chuck: No I can't

Gary: Yes, you can.

Chuck: No, I can't.

Gary: Yes you can. You've got to. Listen, you're the only one there is. You. You're it. You're the guy in the elevator. Sometimes that's all the hero is, Chuck. It's the guy who's there. All right? Chuck?

Sheila: 1…2…3..(breath)

Gary: Chuck?

Sheila: 1…2…3...

Gary: Chuck?

Sheila: 1…2…3...

Gary: Chuck?

Sheila: 1… 2… 3, 1… 2… 3...

Chuck: What is that?

Sheila: 1… 2… 3, 1… 2… 3. It's not brake fluid. 1… 2… 3, 1…

[CHUCK FAINTS]

Gary: Chuck? Chuck? Chuck?

Sheila: 1, 2. 1, 2. 1, 2. 1, 2. 1, 2. 1, 2.

Gary: Chuck?

Marissa: Got a Plan B?

Sheila: 1,2. 1,2. 1,2. 1,2. 1,2. 1,2. 1,2. 1,2.

[GARY HAS GONE UP A FLOOR ABOVE THEM AND IS AT THE ELEVATOR DOORS]

Sheila: 1,2. 1,2. 1,2. 1,2.

Gary: Chuck? Chuck, you all right?

Sheila: He's out cold. 1,2. 1,2. 1,2. 1,2.

Gary: Oh, that's great. All right. (Looks at where he is. Nervous about the height.)

Sheila: 1,2. 1,2. 1,2. 1,2.

Gary: Oh, this is great. Now I'm Chuck Norris.

Sheila: 1,2. 1,2. 1,2. 1,2. 1,2. 1,2. 1,2. 1,2.

Gary: Okay.

[GARY JUMPS DOWN TO THE ELEVATOR ROOF AND ENTERS THROUGH TO THE CAB.]

Sheila: 1,2. 1,2. 1,2. 1,2. 1,2. 1,2. 1,2.

Gary: Hi.

Sheila: Give me a break.

Gary: How is he?

Sheila: You wake him up, and I kill you both.

Gary: Yeah, all right.

Sheila: Is the elevator fixed yet?

Gary: No. The paramedics are on the way.

Sheila: What are they going to do, haul me out on a winch?

Gary: Look, maybe we can call your doctor.

Sheila: Sailing in the Caribbean.

Gary: Well, maybe there's something else - -

Sheila: [Screams in pain.] Look mister… It's you and me. Are you going to pass out too, or are you going to help? 'Cause I got to bring two kids into the world. Are you with me or not?

Gary: Okay. Okay. (With shaky hands unbuttons the cuffs of his shirt.)

[EXTERIOR OF CHUCK'S BUILDING. THE PARAMEDICS ARE ON THE SCENE.]

Paramedic: This is it! Let's hustle! Back up! Everyone back! Coming through. Paramedics! Coming through. (Paramedics rush into the lobby of the building) Okay, we're here. Where's the mother?

[THE PREGNANT WOMAN IS HEARD GROANING ON THE EMERGENCY PHONE.]

Paramedic: What, in there?

[SCENES SWITCH AGAIN FROM INSIDE THE ELEVATOR TO THE BUILDING LOBBY.]

Sheila: Oh! Oh!

Gary: You're doing fine. Just keep pushing.

Sheila: I can't.

Gary: Yes, you can. You're doing fine. Just keep - - Come one. Come on.

Sheila: Oh! Oh!

Gary: Come on. Keep pushing. You're doing great. Keep pushing you're doing fine. Keep pushing. Keep pushing. Come one.

[CHUCK REGAINS CONSCIOUSNESS FOR A MOMENT TO HEAR...]

Gary: Wait, I think I see something. I think it's the head.

[CHUCK FAINTS AGAIN.]

Gary: Come on, keep pushing.

Marissa: Gary? Gary?

Gary: Keep pushing. Come on. Come on, I can see the head. Keep pushing now. Come on. One more. One more. Come on. Come on. Come one, one more time. There you go. Here he comes. There you go. There you go. There we go. There we go. You got a baby boy. You got a boy. You got yourself a baby boy here.

[GARY IS SMILING WIDE AND THRILLED WITH THE EXPERIENCE.]

Gary: Hey, he's loud, isn't he? Say hello to mom, buddy. Congratulations.

[CROWD OUTSIDE OF ELEVATOR CLAPS AND CHEERS.]

Gary: How are you doing? How are you doing?

Sheila: Oh, he's beautiful. (Baby cries) Hey, there. Oh...

Gary: What?

Sheila: Oh, boy. We're not done yet. Ooh!

Marissa: Gary?

Gary: We're having twins up here.

Paramedic: The power's back on. They're coming back down.

[WOMAN NOW HOLDS TWO "NEWBORN" BABIES IN HER ARMS. GARY LOOKS ON ADMIRINGLY.]

Sheila: Thanks.

Gary: Congratulations. Just one more thing.

Chuck: Oh.

Gary: Chuck? Chuck, wake up. Come on. Wake up. Just one more thing. (Reaches for baby as Chuck starts to come around) Come on, buddy. Okay. Here we go. Careful. Don't start dropping them, now. Chuck, here they come, ready or not. Okay. Atta girl. Let's go see Uncle Charles.

[GARY PLACES THE BABIES IN CHUCK'S ARMS THEN CLIMBS UP TO THE TOP OF THE ELEVATOR OUT OF SIGHT JUST AS THE DOORS OPEN. PHOTOGRAPHERS ARE READY WITH THEIR CAMERAS.]

Chuck's Monologue: To repeat…sometimes things work out, sometimes they don't. Whether or not you've got a crystal ball, life is a search for answers, and everybody's looking, all at the same time, in the same general place, which is probably why we keep tripping over each other.

[GARY EXITS A CAB AT THE FOUNTAIN. HE APPROACHES A CITY WORKER WHO IS CLEANING THE STREET.]

Gary: Excuse me. I'm supposed to meet someone here at 12 after 5:00.

City Worker: Well, in that case, you're early.

Gary: Well, the - -

City Worker: Pay no attention to that. Clock says 12 after 5:00 all day long now. Been busted for a month. Got to admit it's confusing. Somebody ought to fix it.

[GARY USES PAY PHONE TO CALL MARCIA]

Gary: Marcia, listen, I can't make it for dinner tonight. No, no. Not tomorrow night, either. [listens for a few seconds.] Yeah. Yeah.

[HE HANGS UP.

[MCGINTY'S. CHUCK IS AT THE BAR TELLING HOW GREAT IT WAS TO BE A PART OF BRINGING TWO NEW LIVES INTO THE WORLD. HE PASSES OUT CIGARS LIKE A PROUD PAPA.]

Chuck: It's a miracle, fellas. I'm telling you. There's nothing like it. Being there at the outset, holding life in these hands. I bet one of them wins the Nobel Prize. So, who's buying, anyway?

[GARY SITS BY THE FOUNTAIN, LOOKING AT THE PAPER. HE LOOKS AROUND TO SEE IF HE CAN SEE THE MYSTERIOUS BLONDE. SHE DOES WALK PAST BEHIND GARY, BUT HE KEEPS LOOKING IN THE WRONG DIRECTION AND MISSES HER.]

Chuck's Monologue: So here's to life. The ups, the downs, the twists, the turns, the whole mixed-up unpredictable mess of it. Just remember to keep your spirit's up and your eyes wide open. And remember, there's always tomorrow.

[THE END]

Many thanks to Janet for sharing her fanscription of "Baby" – Thank you!


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