Earlydues' Early Edition Trivia
217: The Fourth Carpathian

1.  What's on the television that Chuck and Marissa are listening to?
a.  Jeopardy (Marissa answers both questions correctly)

2. What are Chuck and Marissa both doing while listening to the television?
a. Both are on the phone and pacing back and forth behind the bar

3.  Who/what is Gary out to rescue that day?
a.  A grammar school mascot - a monkey named Mikey

4.  Where does Gary go to perform his rescue?
a.  to a condemned theater

5.  What does Gary leave on the fire escape in order to squeeze through the chained doors?
a.  His jacket, scarf and newspaper

6. What book is Bernie reading?
a. "Making Retirement Work for You"

7.  What does Bernie find on the front porch?
a.  Cat and the Paper

8. What does Bernie call Chuck?
a. Chucko

9. What does Bernie have "gassed up?"
a. The Grey Ghost (his trailer)

10. How long does Bernie say it will take for him to get to Chicago?
a. 180 minutes -- 170 if the bladder holds up

11. What does Bernie do as an excuse to leave home?
a. Smokes a cigar in the bathroom so that Lois will scold him

12. How far is it from the Hobson home to Chicago?
a. 150 miles

13. What does Chuck say to demonstrate how responsible Gary is?
a. Says that Gary leaves a message when he goes to the john.

14. What is the name of the would-be jumper?
a. Jersey Carpathian

15.  What happens to Bernie on his 1st and only rescue attempt?
a.  He and the would-be jumper fall off a building into a giant air mattress and they both wind up in jail

16.  Who gets the paper the second morning?
a.  Gary's mom Lois Hobson

17. What does Lois think happened to Bernie and why?
a. She thinks he was shot; the Paper had a front-page headline of "Police Station Rampage: Indiana man shot by crazed gunman."

18. How does Lois find out about the Paper?
a. The "Police Station Rampage" story changes to "Library renovation project stalled" when Bernie is able to stop the gunman.

19. Lois tells Chuck that she has a condition. What do the doctors call it and why?
Crap Intolerant -- she can only take so much B.S. before she explodes

20. What drink does Lois order?
a. An Over-Under Indian Legbreaker

21. Crumb asks Lois if she wants her drink with or without what ingredient?
a. oregeno -- she chooses "with"

22. Who is the "little guy" that gets involved in a bar fight and then punches Crumb in the jaw?
a. Anatoly Carpathian

23.  Who/What is a Carpathian?
a.  A troupe of Russian aerialists consisting of four brothers

24. What does Jersey say has a patent pending?
a. the spectacular Carpathian Catapult

25. What article of Gary's clothing does Lois see someone else wearing?
a. his red scarf that she made

26.  How many times do we see/hear Gary calling for help before he's found?
a.  two  (Cat was there the second time)

27. What does Chuck bring to Bernie in jail?
a. Gnocchi

28. In the "Robber Killed During Holdup" article, who does it say will die at the scene?
a. Theodore Carpathian

29. What is used to try and rob the convenience store clerk?
a. Roll-on deoderant, musk scented

30. Why is he robbing the store?
a. To get money to bail out his brothers

31. How does the would-be robber end up in jail?
a. He punches Crumb in the jaw

32. What aerial trick do Bernie and the brothers do in the jail cell?
a. The "Tower of Carpathian"

33. What song does Bernie and the brothers sing while performing this trick?
Don't Fence Me In

34. What is Crumb's wife's name?
a. Evelyn

35. When did she die and how?
a. 13 years ago of lung cancer

36. What leads Crumb and Lois to another clue as to Gary's whereabouts?
a. Someone is using his credit card to buy jeans

37. Who does Lois bail out of jail?
a. Anatoly, Theodore, and Jersey Carpathian

38. Who doesn't Lois bail out of jail and why?
a. Bernie. He had given her an ultimatum -- if she bailed him out, she had to bail out the brothers and she didn't have money for all four.

39. Who is the man that had Gary's wallet?
a. Karl Carpathian

40.  How many days is Gary missing?
a.  At least 2, possibly 2 1/2.  It depends on the time of day when he's found

41. Who finally finds Gary?
a.  His mom, Crumb & the Carpathian brothers

42.  Where is Gary when they find him?
a.  Trapped on a piece of catwalk, approximately 20 feet off the floor, that is threatening to pull loose from the ceiling

43.  How many times do they call him before he answers?
a.  Four.  Crumb and his Mom both call him twice

44. What does Crumb say they need in order to rescue Gary?
a. a catapult

45.  What do the brothers, with help from Crumb, do to rescue Gary?
a. They perform their famous "Carpathian Catapult" and form a human ladder

46. How much does Crumb say he weighs?
a. At first he claims it's "210, 220" then admits it's really 250

47. What does Gary ask his mother after he's rescued?
a. Where's Dad?

48. What is her reply to this question?
a. We'll talk about that on the way home

49.  What does Crumb do after Gary is safely home in bed?
a.  Crumb shoos Marissa and Chuck out of his room

50. What does Marissa do after Gary is safely home in bed?
a. She bends down and gives him a kiss on the forehead, telling him to sleep well

51. What does Chuck do after Gary is safely home in bed?
a. He pinches Gary's cheek, calls him "monkey lover" and makes monkey noises

52.  What's bothering Gary so much that he can't seem to fall asleep?
a.  He thinks there' s something wrong with his parents

53  Who tries to reassure him about it?
a.  Crumb.  He tells him there's nothing wrong with them, they were just worried about him.

54  What was Bernie's reason for not telling Lois about the paper?
a. She's so capable that *he* wanted to be the hero for a change

55. What kind of advertisement do the Carpathians do?
a. a "Got Milk" ad

 


Thanks to Janet for coming up with half of the questions and inspiring the rest. :)

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Last updated: October 19, 2000
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