EarlyDues' Early Edition

Quotable Quote	Submitted by
Crumb: Run the facts here. We've got a good looking kid who didn't come home last night. (pause) What I'm trying to say here is, that it's not beyond the realm of human possibilty that the young man is out having himself a good time. Marissa: You mean Gary? Chuck: The man is a monk. Bernie: Wait a minute, he's right. The kid's a chip off the old block. He's a Hoson, he's got my genes, he's got my glands, I've been there myself. Marissa: But um. Gary's so responsible. Chuck: The man leaves a message if he goes to the john. Bernie: Its obvious the kid is racking up some R&R and lost touch of time. (pause) Now the paper has chosen me to pinch hit for him. See this story. Chuck (reading out loud): Suicide jumper leaps. Bernie: Somebody out there needs me. Chuck: Why you? Why not me? Why don't I take the paper, while you stay here and wait for Gary to call. (pause) If anyone should fill in for Gary, it should be me, not you.	Melodey
Chuck: Its about a girl, isn't it? Jersey: No! Chuck: She threw you out of the house. Changed all the locks. Told ya she needed her space. Jersey: Its not girl, its uh...er...ahh... Chuck: Its a guy? Thats ok. Chicago's a very open city. We all watch that show "Ellen." Jersey: I should have gone to bridge. I thought roof would be more private.	Melodey
Chuck: (to himself) Uh oh. (out loud) Mrs. Hobson, how are you? Its good to see you. Lois: Chuck, how long have you known? Chuck: Known about what? Lois: The paper. How long? Chuck: I don't believe it. Everybodys getting it but me. Lois: You've know about this from the very start, haven't you? Chuck: Its Gary's fault, he wouldn't let me tell anyone. I wanted to, I begged him, I pleaded. I said, "Gary, at least tell your mother. She deservs it." I said, but he wouldn't listen to me, you know how stubborn he can be... Lois: Chuck, I have this condition, the docters call it; crap intolerance. I can only take so much "B.S." before I explode.	Melodey

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