Earlydues' Early Edition Trivia
209: A Regular Joe

1. What does Gary tell the psychiatrist that he wants?
a. a regular life - go to a ball game, see a movie

2. What piece of advice does the psychiatrist give to Gary?
a. he tells him to take a day off from the paper - Sunday

3. Gary reads the headline, “Psychiatrist killed in a freak accident by ______ _____”
a. fighter plane

4. Gary wakes up from his dream holding what book?
a. “Get a Life!”

5. Gary sneezes after getting the paper. Who says “gesundheit”?
a. it was the voice of the psychiatrist from the dream, but there was nobody there except Gary and the cat

6. What does Chuck say about the new wine glasses?
a. “You’d have to be blind to order something like this”

7. Who ordered the wine glasses and why?
a. Marissa, Gary put her in charge of inventory

8. What does Gary plan to do with his day off?
a. have a brunch and watch the Bear’s game, just like old McGinty used to do

9. Why does Gary need to go to St John’s hospital?
a. to stop a sleep-deprived surgical resident who is about to take out the wrong kidney

10. What kind of catalogue does Chuck say Marissa used to order the wine glasses?
a. a Salvador Dali catalogue

11. What Bear player wears number 12 and what is his position?
a. “Regular Joe” Damski, quarterback

12. What Bear player wears number 1 and what is his position?
a. Masello, place kicker

13. Gary says he felt good after the Bear’s game. How does Chuck explain this?
a. because Gary didn’t do a good deed today. For once, he acted totally selfishly just like every other red-blooded American.

14. In Gary’s second dream, the psychiatrist tells him, “You say you want to be a _______ ___, but you won’t let yourself *be* a _______ ___.”
a. regular Joe; regular Joe

15. Gary reads the headline, “_____ _______ kills psychiatrist. Scaled office tower.”
a. Giant monster

16. What book is Gary holding when he wakes up from this dream?
a. “12 Steps to a Better You”

17. Chuck and Marissa argue over what issue that ends in Chuck quitting?
a. a Cigar Room - Marissa says there’s no smoking in her restaurant

18. Chuck says of Marissa, “Beneath that angelic facade is a cauldron of _______ _________.”
a. boiling hostility

19. What is the name of “Regular Joe’s” wife.
a. Colleen Damski

20. What is the name of the new waitress/barmaid?
a. Robin

21. What position did Gary play in “a little high school and a little less college” football?
a. wide receiver mostly, a little quarterback

22. What headline does the psychiatrist give to Gary?
a. “Love does not conquer all”

23. The psychiatrist tells Gary to “____ ____ ____.”
a. Live your life.

24. Gary reads the headline, “Horrible mistake. _______ ____ wipes out psychiatrist office.”
a. Nuclear Bomb

25. What sits outside below Gary’s window?
a. dumpster

26. What team are the Bears playing when “Regular Joe” winds up in intensive care after a fourth quarter hit?
a. the Redskins

27. What sport item does Chuck have hanging on the wall at his home?
a. “Chicago Bulls, 1996 NBA Champions” banner thingy

28. What does Gary respond when Marissa asks him if he’s ok?
a. “Of course I’m ok. I got the Bears, I got my Bloody Mary, I got a brunch. What more could I want? Chuck’s not here, that’s *his* decision. I’m not reading the paper today, that’s *my* decision. Sunday’s *my* day. And I’m gonna *enjoy* my day even if it kills me. Come on Bears!”

29. What does the cat do in an attempt to get Gary to read the paper?
a. the cat knocks the coffee grounds onto the floor in the kitchen, causing the help to have to go find a newspaper to clean it up. Gary ends up taking the coffee ground paper to the dumpster, where the cat jumps on it to get Gary’s attention.

30. How do Gary and Chuck sneak into the Bears’ locker room?
a. Chuck dresses up in the bear costume

31. Where do Gary and Chuck hide while in the locker room?
a. in the hot tubs/whirlpools

32. Gary and Chuck take the place of which Bears players and why?
a. Damski and Masello because they chloroformed them - Damski so he wouldn’t get hurt, and Masello because Chuck attacked him

33. How does Chuck explain Damski’s visor and wrapped jaw?
a. he says Damski’s jaw was wired shut and he has a scratch on his cornea

34. What is Gary’s peace offering to Chuck?
a. a football signed, “To Chuck, Regular Joe Damski”

35. What has Gary decided about McGinty’s?
a. he’s gonna turn it back into the tavern that it used to be

36. What has Gary decided about the paper and his life, or lack thereof?
a. Gary thinks maybe the paper *is* his life, and maybe if he didn’t get the paper, he’d still be helping people

37. What does Gary need to make him happy?
a. a place to call home and friends to share it with

38. How much has business gone up since McGinty’s went back to a sports bar?
a. 40%

39. What are the names of the other waitress and the unseen bouncer?
a. Sissy and Damian

40. Gary sneezes. Who says, “Gesundheit”?
a. a man that looks like the psychiatrist in Gary’s dream, who was sitting in a chair that is then occupied by the cat

41. What is the final bit of advice that the psychiatrist gives to Gary?
a. “Always listen to your heart. It’s what’s in here that counts.”

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Last updated: September 12, 1997
1997 - 2000, etc.