EarlyDues' Early Edition

Quotable Quote	Submitted by
[Gary, Chuck, and Marissa are at the tavern talking about Jeffrey, Marissa's friend.] Chuck: What does he look like? Gary: Oh, he's a nice looking guy, a little squat, hunchback, big ears, very large ears, flapping around like Dumbo.	Jade
[At the campus.] Chuck: Why are we here? I hated college. Deadlines, term papers, cram study sessions, stupid touch football games, dorms, ugh, communal showers, toilets with no doors, waking up in the middle of the night, drunk, in the parking lot, naked. Gary: I remember that. Chuck: You know what? Since we had graduated, I do not even remotely miss anything about college. [A pretty girl walks by and looks at them.] Chuck: I stand corrected.	Jade
[In the testing room, the girl holds up a picture and Chuck is suppose to guess what the picture is of.] Chuck: A bird splattered on a window. Girl: Let's try another one. Chuck: Wouldn't this be easier if we weren't sitting in different zip codes?	Jade
Chuck: How about dinner? Girl: Excuse me? Chuck: You know, a social ritual taken on by members of the opposite sex, often referred to as a date. Girl: Actually, I was thinking more along the line of the PMME index. Chuck: Do they have a good wine list?	Jade
[Dr. Price speech to Gary when she invited him to her office to talk.] Dr. Price: I am a psychologist. Therefore, I view everything that's said strictly confidential. But you have to trust me, trust that I can help. I've had extensive experience working with people very much like yourself. You're a troubled man, Gary.	Jade
[At Gary's apartment.] Chuck: I'm telling you, a couple hours of Jensen yesterday and my eyes have been opened. It finally dawned on me what all the women that I have dated in the past have been lacking. Gary: Taste?	Jade
[At the tavern, Gary is playing pool when Dr. Price comes over.] Dr. Price: Mr. Hobson. Gary: Oh, no, not again. Dr. Price: I just need a minute. Gary: Oh yeah? Oh, what is it? Is there another theory about me or are you still waiting for a confession? Dr. Price: No, I've just been to the police. I spoke to a detective Crumb, who told me I should trust you. Gary: And do you? Dr. Price: No. But frankly, I have no choice.	Jade
Chuck (in the presence of Marissa - a psych major): Psych majors, they're all crazy!	Jade
[On the roof of the Blackstone hotel.] Chuck: I've been reading about myself in her Senior Thesis. Marissa: What's the title? Chuck: Tell her. Gary: Self Deception in the American Male.	Jade
Chuck: You wanna go to the race tracks? Gary: No. Chuck: How about we buy some lottery tickets? Gary: No. Chuck: Why don't you tell me if the Cubs are going to win tonight? Oh, come on, Gary. Gary: Go away!	Jade

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