409 "Weathergirl" continued...


RETURN TO PART 1

[~ at hospital ~]

PHIL
[ to someone off screen ] I'll be right back In a moment. Don't move. I think you' going to find this quite delightful. Ah, yes. Ah. Here we are. Aha. Ahh, they'll love this. [ laughs delightedly while filling balloons with the oxygen ]

GARY
[ in cab, reading from article ] "Shortly after 1:00 p.m. yesterday afternoon, the Senior Care wing of Chicago Memorial went up in flames. Fire officials traced the blaze back to a volunteer hospital worker, who inadvertently opened an oxygen line.

[ Phil finishes filling balloons, leaves with his boxful, but forgets to turn off the oxygen, which can be heard hissing ]

GARY
[ checking with the paper again ] "Oxygen tank in the Senior Care wing."

[~ another room in hospital, with patients ~]

PHIL
You're a wonderful group of patients. And now, for your listening pleasure, I would like to play a little number that I picked up in the Yiddish theater. [ Phil sings in Yiddish ]

[ Gary finds room with oxygen tanks - hears oxygen hissing - Gary turns valve to off - hissing stops ]

PHIL
Everybody! [ continues singing ]

GARY
Phil, come here.

PHIL
I got a show.

GARY
Phil. Phil, now.

PHIL
All right, all right, all right. I'll take a little break. Order anything from the bar. I'll be right back.

[~ Gary and Phil walking down corridor at hospital ~]

PHIL
I don't understand. A new job? I don't want a new job. I want that job.

GARY
Phil, a man with your talents -- you're too good for that job. You shouldn't be working for free. You should be getting paid.

PHIL
You know, you're right.

GARY
Well, of course I'm right, and, Phil, food service -- that's where you started, that's where you need to be.

MANAGER
Your timing couldn't be better. I don't know how you heard about this job. Our ad doesn't run until tomorrow.

PHIL
I got friends in high places.

MANAGER
Welcome to the Choppers Masters program, Mr. Kazakian. We're thrilled to have you on board.

PHIL
That's it? Just like that, I'm hired?

MANAGER
Well, this booming economy, It's getting tough to find Masters.

PHIL
Well, what exactly Is a Master?

MANAGER
Someone older than 60. You ever work a french fry machine?

PHIL
I'm a quick learner. Nice hat!

[~ Rebecca's office ~]

WOMAN
You're all set.

REBECCA
Thank you. [ telephone rings ] Rebecca Waters.

GARY
Hi, Rebecca. It's me.

REBECCA
Gary, you called. How are you?

GARY
I'm good. I'm real good. So...

REBECCA
So, um, nice day today.

GARY
Yes, it is.

REBECCA
Um, do you think It'll be nice later?

GARY
Now that you mention it, uh, yes. I think it's going to be sunny, highs in the 50s -- 54, to be exact, and there won't be much wind. It would be a nice night to have dinner, I think.

REBECCA
Wow. 54 degrees. Really? I was way off.

GARY
So what do you say?

REBECCA
About what?

GARY
About dinner.

REBECCA
Oh, love to. Yeah. I got to go. 7:00 at Charlie Trotter's?

GARY
That would be great.

REBECCA
Uh, Gary?

GARY
Yeah.

REBECCA
Thanks. [ hangs up phone ]

GARY
I got a date.

CAT
Meow

GARY
No thanks to you.

[~ Gary and Rebecca walking to Rebecca's home after their dinner date ~]

REBECCA
Okay, the thing is, I always knew what I was going to be. My dad's a meteorologist, semi-retired. My mom's a meteorologist, and she's still on the air in Miami, so I just never even considered anything else. What about you?

GARY
As far as I know, there are no meteorologists In my family, no.

REBECCA
No, I mean, did you always know that you wanted to own a bar? Is that, you know --

GARY
Oh, owning a bar -- oh, yeah, of course. Ever since I was a kid, I wanted to own a bar.

REBECCA
Yeah? That's an act. You just seem like the kind of guy that complains a lot, but deep down inside, I think you're doing exactly what you want to be doing. Right?

GARY
I can honestly say right now, this second, walking with you is exactly what I'd like to be doing, yes.

REBECCA
Well, I had a really great time tonight, too. Maybe we could do it again.

GARY
How about tomorrow?

REBECCA
I'm free. Speaking of tomorrow, what do you think's going to happen?

GARY
What do you have in mind?

REBECCA
I was talking about the weather. Your collarbone.

GARY
Oh. Uh... that doesn't -- it doesn't really say anything until the morning when I wake up, actually.

REBECCA
Gotcha. Maybe you'll call me.

GARY
Definitely. I will call you.

REBECCA
Good.

[~ Gary's Loft, morning ~]

[ Gary turns on TV while reading paper and calling Rebecca to give her the day's forecast ]

ANCHORMAN
...How about you? are you ready for y2k?

[~ Rebecca's office ~]

REBECCA
[ on phone ] Thank you. [ hangs up ]

[~ Gary running down sidewalk on a "save" ~]

[ Gary rescues a runaway baby carriage and returns it to woman. Gary sees Rebecca on a TV in a shop window ]

[~ New day, Gary's Loft ~]

[ Gary calls Rebecca with the weather ]

REBECCA
So bundle up those kids as they head out the door -- hats, mittens, and some hot soup for lunch.

[~ Night. In front of a theatre ~]

[ Another date. Gary and Rebecca go to a movie, walk home to Rebecca's house. Goodnight kiss on the porch ]

[~ Gary's Loft, morning ~]

GARY
No, no, no. No weather report. No weather report. No weather report. Where is it? Huh? Where's the weather report?

CAT
[ purring ]

GARY
What are you doing to me here, huh? Where's the weather report? Huh?

[~ McGinty's ~]

[ Gary runs in, boxers, T-shirt, robe, barefoot ]

GARY
Marissa, hey, listen, I need your help, but I don't know who to call.

MARISSA
What? What's the matter?

GARY
There's no weather.

MARISSA
What?

GARY
There's no weather report. In the paper. There's always a weather report, every day. Well today there's no weather report, due to technical difficulties, it's not available at press time. There's no weather report.

MARISSA
Uh, yeah. So?

GARY
Well, so, Rebecca -- she goes on the air in five minutes. What am I supposed to tell her? Everything was going so well, too.

MARISSA
That's because you were giving her the weather every day.

GARY
No, it's not. It's -- I mean, it could -- what does it matter?

MARISSA
Guess you'll have to find out.

GARY
Yeah, I guess I'll... have to find out.

[~ Rebecca in her office. Gary calls her from his office at McGinty's ~]

REBECCA
[ fretting because Gary hasn't called yet ] Oh, God. [ telephone rings ] Hello?

GARY
Hello, Rebecca. It's me.

REBECCA
Oh, thank God, Gary. Cutting it a little close, aren't you? It's ok, never mind, we still have time. What do you have?

GARY
Uh...

REBECCA
Gary, you there?

GARY
Oh, yeah, I'm here.

REBECCA
Honey, I hate to rush you, but I need the weather.

GARY
Well, that's just the thing. You see, my collarbone -- It's, uh, it's kind of healed, Rebecca.

REBECCA
It what?

GARY
It's not really telling me anything.

REBECCA
Oh, no! Oh, no, not today. Please, not today. My parents are coming today. I really need to have it today.

GARY
Well, Rebecca, I'm sorry, but I don't know what the weather's going to be like today.

REBECCA
Really? Not even an inkling?

GARY
No. [ Rebecca hangs up ] Hello?

[~ WBBM offices ~]

[ Rebecca attempting to sneak out ]

MAN
Rebecca? Where are you going? You're on in 10.

REBECCA
I'm sick, very sick. I think it's my appendix. Um, better have Joanie fill in for me.

[~ Gary's Loft ~]

[ Rebecca knocks. Gary has just finished a shower, is wrapped in towel. ]

GARY
Yeah?

REBECCA
Hi.

GARY
Rebecca, uh, what are you doing here?

REBECCA
Well, I was worried about you and your collarbone.

GARY
Oh, well, uh, my collarbone -- it's not really saying anything right now.

REBECCA
Well, you know, maybe you just need to relax. Bones don't heal overnight. They just don't.

GARY
Right. Yeah. Uh... excuse me for a second. [ Gary returns to bathroom to put on his robe ] I'm pretty relaxed. I was just taking a shower.

REBECCA
Sit.

GARY
All right.

REBECCA
Here you go. Left or right?

GARY
What?

REBECCA
Which collarbone?

GARY
Oh, the, uh, the right.

REBECCA
[ massaging Gary's shoulders ] There you go. Just close your eyes and try to think pleasant thoughts, and let me worry about your collarbone.

GARY
Ow!

REBECCA
Sorry. You know, maybe we should just spend the day together. Just hang out, maybe rent a movie?

GARY
That sounds great.

REBECCA
Yeah, something like "Singin' in the Rain"?

GARY
Well...

REBECCA
Okay, okay. "Sunshine Boys"?

GARY
Rebecca, uh --

REBECCA
I understand. I do, I do. I totally understand, but let me ask you something. Do you remember the other night when you took me to the movies and then you walked me home?

GARY
Yeah.

REBECCA
And then we kissed right there on my front porch. It was nice, wasn't it?

GARY
Yes, it was.

REBECCA
Would you like to kiss me again?

GARY
Yes, I would. [ makes his move ]

REBECCA
[ grabbing Gary by the collar ] Then tell me the weather. Tell me! Tell me right now, because I won't go back to being a joke. I won't! My parents are going to hear me do the weather right! Are we clear? Oh, my god. What have I become? I'm giving it away for the forecast.

GARY
Maybe you could get some help. Maybe you could get some meteorological tutoring.

REBECCA
Got to go.

GARY
Uh, Rebecca, y-you --

CAT
Meow. [ Gary stumbles over cat ]

GARY
Aah. Why don't you watch where you're going? [ while rubbing his stubbed toe, Gary reads headline, FAST FOOD EXPLOSION KILLS THREE ] Phil.

[ cue commercials ]

[~ Kitchen of Choppers ~]

PHIL
[ rap music playing ] We all work together, right? So why can't we have a little variety in music? Would it kill you? [ Phil pops in a new tape ]

RADIO
...when you see a guy...

KID1
Man, look, just hand over the box, Kazakian.

PHIL
Musical trends come and go, but there are only a few classics.

KID2
No more show tunes.

PHIL
Wait! I got one you'll like. "Rent." It's young. It's the music of the street.

KID2
Grab it!

PHIL
Now wait a minute. No, no. Let go. No, no, no! I want to listen to my music!

[ crash, splatter - radio falls into fry vat ]

RADIO
...all kinds of rent for a flat that could...

PHIL
Hmm. Do you smell gas?

[ Gary runs in ]

GARY
Everybody out! Come on. There's a gas leak. Everybody out! Come on. Phil!

RADIO
...that the guy's only doing it for some doll...

GARY
What are you doing?

PHIL
I can fix it. I'm in the Master program.

GARY
Ph--

[ fry vat catches fire ]

PHIL
Oy!

[ Gary and Phil run out of Choppers ]

[~ Outside of Choppers ~]

[ explosion ]

PHIL
Ohh!

[ car alarm sounds ]

PHIL
Ugh. Whoo! So much for employee of the month.

[~ Rebecca's office ~]

WOMAN
Rebecca, Gary Hobson on line 2... again.

REBECCA
Well, tell him I'm not here... again.

WOMAN
Okay.

[~ Phone booth with Phil and Gary ~]

PHIL
Great news?

GARY
No news.

PHIL
Women. Call her right back. Better yet, send her something special. Or make a tape of her favorite love songs. Women love that.

GARY
Yeah. Come on, let's go.

PHIL
Where are we going?

GARY
We're going to go downtown and do a little holiday shopping.

PHIL
What is it with you people? Your holidays start earlier every year.

[~ State Street - Crew setting up Christmas tree ~]

TREE MAN
Nice and easy. Easy, easy, easy. Joey, keep your side even.

GARY
Look, I told you, you can't put this tree up.

TREE MAN
You got a problem with Christmas, take it up with the Church.

PHIL
The Church says you gotta put the Christmas tree up before Thanksgiving?

GARY
Look, there's going to be wind today, all right? Gusts of wind. Gale-force wind. This tree is going to come down.

TREE MAN
Buddy, there is no wind today.

GARY
There's gonna be wind.

TREE MAN
Who are you, Rebecca Waters? Hey, tell you what. Channel 2 news is on in 15 minutes. Rebecca's never wrong. If she says there's going to be gale-force winds, I'll take the tree down. Fair enough?

GARY
Let's go.

[~ WBBM studios ~]

PHIL
Hey, look. There's that "Trouble-Shooter." He's the one that stuck it to the pharmacies last week. I got to get his autograph.

GARY
No, no, no, you just stay here, and, uh, behind the green line, and just wait for me. I'll be right back, okay?

PHIL
Okay.

GARY
But you'll stay here.

PHIL
I'll stay here. Don't worry.

GARY
Rebecca.

REBECCA
Gary, I can't talk to you right now.

MAN
10 seconds, Rebecca.

GARY
It's about the forecast.

REBECCA
Please, Gary.

GARY
No, no, no. I know what's going to happen. You gotta announce it.

REBECCA
No, no, no, I don't want to know.

GARY
Look it's --

REBECCA
Just leave -- leave me alone, please.

MAN
3...2...

ANCHORWOMAN
Welcome back to the news at noon. We've got sports coming up in the next 15 minutes.

[ Man with tree crew is watching newscast on tiny TV ]

ANCHORMAN
Also, the second in our 3-part exposť of high-priced doggy kennels. But first, let's take a look at the weather with our own Rebecca Waters.

TREE MAN
Quiet. I want to hear this.

REBECCA
Hal, it's shaping up to be a -- quite an afternoon. Chance of rain -- moderate. Chance of snow -- moderate. Chance of no precipitation at all -- moderate. Temperatures anywhere from the low 20s to the upper 80s. A low-pressure area might be sweeping in from the west... or maybe the north. Possibly the south... or maybe it just won't show up at all.

TREE MAN
What?

REBECCA
The truth is, I -- I just really hate the weather. I mean, there are just so many other things in life that I care about so much more than the weather. The truth is, I -- I have no idea what's going to happen today. I couldn't predict rain if I was standing in a puddle. You want to know what it's like outside? Open a window. [ walks off stage ]

MAN IN BOOTH
Dead air, people. We've got dead air. [ nobody speaks ] Dead air, people. We've got dead air.

PHIL
Hello out there to all of the good people of Chicago. This is Phil Kazakian with your afternoon weather report.

2ND MAN IN BOOTH
Who the hell is that?

PHIL
It might be a good idea to dress warm 'cause there's a chill in the air. And even if the sun does come out, it's always better to be prepared.

MAN IN BOOTH
Who cares? He's a warm body. We leave him on.

PHIL
Dress warm, and you can't go wrong. [ Gary reminds Phil about the tree with some "cue cards" he made from some paper he found ] Yeah, and, uh, a special message to you fellas down on State Street with that Christmas tree you're so eager to put up before Thanksgiving even.

TREE MAN
Is he talking to us?

PHIL
I suggest that you clear the plaza. Get away from that Christmas tree, 'cause it's coming down. Gale-force winds are blowing in off the lake at this very minute. Gale-force winds. Clear the plaza!

[ tree falls ]

TREE MAN
Everybody all right?

PHIL
That's your weather. I'm Phil Kazakian, with a smile in my heart and a song in my shoes. Or is it the other way around? Well, either way, it's been my pleasure. [ Everyone applauds ] Oh! Thank you. Thank you. Thank you, everybody.

MAN IN BOOTH
Don't let that guy leave the building.

[~ Outside of WBBM ~]

[ Rebecca squeals off in her car, Gary tries to stop her ]

GARY
Rebecca, wait! Rebecca? Rebecca!

[~ McGinty's ~]

REBECCA
Excuse me?

MARISSA
Can I help you?

REBECCA
I'm looking for Gary Hobson.

MAIRSSA
Your voice -- do I know you?

REBECCA
I used to be on TV.

GARY
Rebecca?

MARISSA
The weather girl. Well, I guess you two have a lot to discuss.

GARY
I tried calling you.

REBECCA
I know. I got your messages. I guess it just took me a while to figure out what I wanted to say to you.

GARY
Well, before you do... I want to apologize.

REBECCA
No, Gary, believe me, you have nothing to apologize for.

GARY
Would you like to sit down?

REBECCA
Thank you. Gary, I'm not proud of the way I acted. I know it must seem like I used you, and in the end, I guess I sort of did, but I like you, Gary. I really like you. I just don't want you to think it was only about the weather.

GARY
Well, that sounds, uh, pretty final.

REBECCA
Well, it could never work. A weather girl and a guy who knows the weather -- I mean, it's just your basic doomed love story.

GARY
So, what are you going to do?

REBECCA
I'm going to Dallas. I got a new job.

GARY
Doing the weather?

REBECCA
Oh, God, no. I'm no good at the weather. I was just the last one to figure it out, that's all. No, this manager of a local Dallas station, he saw me self-destruct the other day on the news, and he just called me out of the blue. Said he liked my moxie -- and he actually used that word. So he offered me a job doing the traffic on the local station.

GARY
Traffic girl?

REBECCA
Mm-hmm.

GARY
So, officially, you're not a weather girl anymore.

REBECCA
Exactly.

GARY
Well, a traffic girl and a guy who can predict the weather, that's not -- I mean, that's not necessarily doomed then, is it?

REBECCA
I'm going to get settled, and then I'll give you a call. I'll leave my number, it doesn't seem like you travel very much.

GARY
Oh, no. I've always wanted to go to Texas, though.

REBECCA
Bye, Gary. Thank you.

[ Rebecca hugs Gary and heads to the door. Gary sees headline, FREAK SNOWSTORM IN DALLAS ]

GARY
Hey, Rebecca.

REBECCA
Yeah?

GARY
[ changes mind about telling her of snowstorm ] Take care of yourself, and have a safe trip. [ Rebecca leaves ]

[ TV in background catches Gary's attention ]

ANCHORMAN
Coming up, we've got football highlights, but first the weather with the newest member of the Channel 2 news team -- our own Phil Kazakian. Phil, what do you have for us today?

PHIL
Thank you, Hal. And, my good people of Chicago, I got a treat for you today. It's the weather with a little something extra -- music. [ sings ] Sunshine today and drizzle this evening, rainfall tomorrow, pack your umbrella, high in the 40s, low in the 20s, expect some drizzle, maybe some snow, expect some drizzle, maybe some snow, yeah!

GARY
Oy.

~ THE END~


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