The Word List

name_1:
adjective_1:
body part_1:
exclamation:
adjective_2:
name of a superhero:
vehicle:
noun_1:
adjective_3:
plural noun_1:
adjective_4:
name of a toy_1:
plural noun_2:
adjective_5:
plural noun_3:
body part_2:
doll:
country:
plural noun_4:
verb (transitive):
plural noun_5:
name_2:
adjective_6:
toy_2:
adverb:
noun_2:
noun_3:
adjective_7:
adjective_8:
noun_4:
verb:
a number:
line from a holiday song:
adjective_9:
adjective_10:
noun_5:

"How Gary Saved Christmas"
by Peregrin Anna

December 24, 9 PM, Eastern Standard Time Santa's Workshop...

Chief Elf [name_1] was surprised to see a tall stranger when s/he opened the workshop door. "Down here!" s/he shouted when the visitor stared right over her head.

Startled, the man looked down, fiddling with the [adjective_1] newspaper he held in his hands. "Uh, hi, I'm Gary--"

"Hobson. Chicago, Illinois. Nice. On an epic scale. Except every once in a while when you start giving your friends a hard time. Your paper gave you away," s/he explained when Gary's eyes widened. "I'm the Chief Elf and Listkeeper. You don't think Santa can keep it all straight himself, do you? Now get in here before you freeze your [body part_1] off."

Gary brushed snow off his coat as he stepped into the workshop. "[exclamation]," he breathed when he saw the [adjective_2] toys that lined the shelves and workbenches.

"So, what's the big disaster, [name of a superhero]?" [name_1] demanded. "How'd you make it all the way to the North Pole, anyway?"

Gary fidgeted. "Well, first I hitched a ride on a northbound [vehicle], and then I had to trade a [noun_1] for a flight to Anchorage on a cargo plane full of [adjective_3] [plural noun_1], and then..."

"Never mind, I get the picture. Look, I know who you are, and what you do, but let me tell you, we've got Christmas under control here. The Pokemons are sorted by color, the stockings are [adjective_4], and the [name of a toy] are wrapped and sealed for your protection. We've got plenty of [plural noun_2] and [adjective_5] [plural noun_3] --all for the little ones, Christmas joys. What could go wrong?"

"I'll tell you what could go wrong; I got a whole paper fulla what could go wrong!" Gary exclaimed. He waved the Sun Times in the Chief Elf's face. "First of all, you got a load of GI Joes with defective [body part_2]. Second, you're gonna get all the Bobbies in Chicago mixed up, and let me tell you, when little Bobby McKenna's mom finds that anatomically correct [doll] in his stocking, she's gonna blow--and third, there are all the kids in [country] who are going to get assembly directions for their new [plural noun_4] printed in Swahili!"

"Okay, okay, I get the picture."

"Look, the point is, it's all gonna happen because there's nobody doing a final quality check, because in about five minutes, a disgruntled reindeer is gonna come in here and start [verb (transitive)] [plural noun_5] all over the place!"

"A disgruntled reindeer?" [Name_1] asked dubiously.

"I guess they wouldn't let it join in any reindeer games." Gary shook the paper in [Name_1]'s face. "You gotta believe me. It's right here in black and white." Just then, the door burst open, and in strode [name_2] the [adjective_6] Reindeer, antlers waving dangerously.

"Five minutes, huh?" the Chief Elf asked Gary. "Guess someone needs a new watch for Christmas."

"Nobody's getting anything if we don't get that reindeer out of here!" Gary grabbed a [toy_2] off a nearby table and brandished it [adverb]. "Get back!" he shouted. The reindeer backed away from him, and the elves were able to get a [noun_2] over its head and hustle it out the door.

"Hey, thanks, you really saved our operation." [Name_1] reached up to shake Gary's hand as s/he showed him to the door. "Maybe you'll find a little extra [noun_3] in your stocking this year. Well, have a [adjective_7] Christmas, and--"

"Hey, wait a sec! How am I supposed to get back home?" Gary demanded.

[Name_1] slapped his/her forehead. "Of course!" She hurried over to a cabinet, and returned with a [adjective_8] [noun_4]. "Just hold onto this and [verb] it [a number] times, then say the magic words, and it'll take you right back to Chicago." S/he whispered the magic phrase in Gary's ear.

"You gotta be kidding me," said Gary.

"Nope, it's 100% guaranteed," [Name_1] promised.

S/he patted Gary on the back, shoving him out the door with the same movement. Then s/he watched in secret amusement as Gary stood, ankle deep in snow, and, after performing the prescribed ritual, muttered, "[line from a holiday song]"

He was whisked off into the [adjective_9] December skies, calling as he disappeared from view, "Merry Christmas to all, and to all a [adjective_10] [noun_5]!"