Vanities: The Fisher Thing
by George Wayne
Stevens, ubiquitous star of film, TV, and tabloid stories
about his benighted liaison with Michelle Pfeiffer, plays
a bad guy in the forthcoming Super Mario Bros.
movie. But GEORGE WAYNE, for one, found him to be a very
George Wayne: How long were you on location in Florida for your TV show Key West?
Fisher Stevens: Five months. I got a little island fever. I missed New York City, and I really wanted to get back.
GW: But you had a little fun while you were in Key West. Weren't you having a fling with one of the young extras on the set, and that's why Michelle Pfeiffer left you?
FS: That is all National Enquirer stuff.
GW: Saying it's Enquirer stuff is crap, Fisher.
FS: It is. Whatever happened, it was not the reason. We broke up in North Carolina during Super Mario Bros. C'mon, man, you know you guys all make this sh*t up.
GW: I don't make anything up.
FS: Well, I know you don't.
GW: I don't remember seeing you in The Flamingo Kid. Were you merely an extra?
FS: Thanks a lot. Nice guy. I had a nice part in that. I was 19. I bring them to the club. Remember my line, "They're not bimbos, they are bimbettes"? Rent it and you'll see.
GW: I like the name of your character in Super Mario Bros. -- Iggy. Is your character as cool as the name?
FS: He's kinda mean. Not too swift. But I have a great sense of fashion. My hair is done like the cover of Vogue.
GW: I read somewhere that you said you've been to Mount Kilimanjaro. Now, are we talking about the Mount Kilimanjaro, or some restaurant named Mount Kilimanjaro?
FS: That was in Tanzania. Yeah, I didn't climb it, but I did climb Mount Kenya, which was 17,000 feet. I was insane to do it, because I had no provisions. It was the most stupid, but most beautiful, thing that I've ever done.
GW: Who is your best friend in Hollywood?
FS: I don't hang out in Hollywood anymore. I never go back -- ever since I split. . .
GW: Not since the breakup? Was it an emotional trauma?
FS: No. I live here, and I work here. . . . Matt Dillon is one of my best friends.
GW: How did a nerdy guy like you land a beauty like Michelle Pfeiffer?
FS: How did a nerdy guy like you get this job writing for Vanity Fair?
GW: Oh, come on, Fisher -- you're not a stud!
FS: How do you know?
GW: Because that's why you got dropped.
FS: You're a jerk! You're a jerk! You're an a**hole! Just because you can't get laid, don't take it out on me. . .
GW: Well, that's true -- I am a frustrated homosexual. . . .
FS: Why are you so cruel? I'm not going to let it get to me, George, because you know what? You are a harmless guy.
GW: Precisely. This is all in jest.
FS: I know it's in jest, but it's not nice, George. . . . I don't want to talk about my relationships.
GW: But we can't not talk about Michelle.
FS: I'll say only this: I think she is one of the greatest actresses and people in the world -- seriously. I still love her. She's an amazing woman.
GW: What's your next role?
FS: I'm doing a cool little movie in San Francisco -- Nina Takes a Lover, with Laura San Giacomo. It's about relationships, about fidelity and infidelity. I play a guy who works in a coffee shop. It's a nice little part.
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This page last messed with on: July 8, 2000
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