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(Sung to "I've got a Little List" from _The Mikado_)
If ever it should happen that a victim must be found,
I've got a little list, I've got a little list,
Of EE personages who might well be underground,
They never would be missed, they never would be missed,
There's the one who sent Chuck Fishman off to live out in L.A,
And those who give Marissa less than five real lines to say,
The folks who doctored up the show to please young urban men,
And those who hash old tired plots again and yet again,
Whoever first thought Erica and Gary ought to tryst,
I don't think he'd be missed, no, I'm sure he'd not be missed.
I've got him on the list, I've got him on the list,
And I don't think he'd be missed, no I'm sure he'd not be missed.
Writers who don't feel a need to first check out the facts,
And consistency resist -- I've got *them* on the list,
The producer who chose Erica for looks, not how she acts.
He never would be missed, he never would be missed.
The folks who think McGinty's bar cannot be manned by Crumb,
To see a guy that old, they say, would leave the viewers glum,
The ones who claim that Chuck left Gary in financial ruin,
Then glibly blame poor Chuck for every missing dime or spoon,
And those who tried to make a grouch of our protagonist,
They'll none of them be missed, they'll none of them be missed.
I've got them on the list, I've got them on the list,
And they'll none of them be missed, they'll none of them be missed.
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The Gilbert and Sullivan Archive has both the music and the text of the
original song:
http://math.idbsu.edu/gas/mikado/html/none_be_missed.html