‘The Iceman Taketh’ continued...

Written by James Stanley and Dianne Messina Stanley; Directed by Scott Paulin; (as "fanscribed" by HarrietJ)

RETURN TO PART 1

Brigatti - Help me!

(Gary, coming out on the roof, hears her.)

Gary - Brigatti!

Brigatti - Over here! Hobson!

Gary - (He throws the Paper down onto the roof without a second thought.) Brigatti! You hold on!

(With great effort he pulls her up with him on the ledge, on the other side of the rail, just moments before it falls. Brigatti grabs onto Gary, with relief.)

Brigatti – Hobson.

Gary - Take your time.

Brigatti - You saved my life.

Gary - Well...

Brigatti - What are you doing up here anyway?

Gary - The view is nice. Actually I got off on the wrong floor.

(Brigatti sees his wrist is bleeding.)

Brigatti - You're hurt.

(Gary sees the Paper blowing away.)

Gary - My paper.

Brigatti - Oh forget it, I'll buy you a new one.

(In the suite, Gary is sitting on the bed. Brigatti is tending to the wound on his wrist.)

Brigatti - Doesn't look too deep. No need for stitches.

Gary - Well that's good. (He notices her shaking hand.) You all right?

Brigatti - Guess I'm still a little shaky. Out on that ledge I knew any minute I was gonna die... alone. If you hadn't shown up when you did, I... why did you come back?

Gary - Oh, I don't know. I figured you needed someone to look after you, I guess.

Brigatti - Even though I make you crazy?

Gary - You don't make me crazy all the time, Brigatti.

Brigatti - Not all the time?

Gary - No, some of the time you're okay.

B – Just... okay?

Gary - You're pushin' it, Brigatti.

They lean toward each other until their lips are almost touching...The phone rings. For a moment they can't move, and Brigatti, still barely moving, picks it up.

Brigatti - (Breathless, answers) Hello?

Marissa - Is Gary Hobson there?

Brigatti - Um. It's for you.

Gary - Huh? (Breathless, also) Hello?

Marissa - You want to give me an ETA?

(Brigatti goes into the next room.)

Gary - (still breathless, stammers) I'm, I'm gonna...I'm gonna be tied up a little bit longer.

Marissa - Right. On business.

Gary - I lost the Paper, you see. I think there's gonna be a jewel heist tonight but I don't know what's gonna happen.

Marissa - Sounds risky.

Gary - Listen, I gotta go. I'll talk to you later, OK?

Marissa - OK. Bye.

(As Gary hangs up the phone. Brigatti comes out of the other room.)

Brigatti - You' re not gonna take me to the ball lookin' like that, are you, Hobson?

***

(Gary, wearing a tux, comes out of the other room. He sees Brigatti, her hair upswept, wearing a low-cut black lace gown.)

Gary - Wow.

(Brigatti smiles a little self - consciously and starts to put on the diamond necklace, but has trouble.)

Gary – (ever the gentleman) Allow me.

(Gary steps behind her and takes the clasp. He’s very close as he puts the necklace on her. From a vase of flowers, Brigatti pulls a bud and slips it into his lapel.)

Brigatti - (smiling) Perfect!

(Gary offers his arm to Brigatti.)

Gary - Shall we, Mrs. Thurston?

Brigatti - (still smiling) Absolutely, Mr. Thurston!

***

(In the ballroom, the orchestra is playing slow, romantic jazz music. On the dance floor, Gary is holding Brigatti very close.)

Paul - May I cut in?

Gary - Actually, it's not customary...

Brigatti - Oh, that's all right, sweetheart. (to Paul) I'd be delighted.

Paul - Actually, I've never been this close to such an exquisite jewel before.

Brigatti - Oh, you like the Lermontov?

Paul - I was referring to you.

Gary - (Standing behind them) Oh brother!

(Gary turns around as he hears Amber behind him.)

Amber - Ahem. You're not going to leave me standing here all by my lonesome, are you?

Gary - Uh no. (He starts dancing with Amber, but he keeps watching Brigatti with Paul.)

(Brigatti and Paul, dancing.)

Paul - (to Brigatti) How was your afternoon?

Brigatti - Breezy.

Paul - Oh?

Brigatti - I did some exploring around the hotel... surprised we didn't run into each other.

Paul - Shame we didn't. Think of all the fun we could have had.

(Gary, dancing with Amber, is still staring at Brigatti and Paul.)

Amber - Yoo-hoo. Larry, I'm over here.

Gary - Oh, sorry.

Amber - Now this is a slow dance, so we're supposed to dance close, like this. (She abruptly pulls him closer.) Do you like my dress?

Gary - Very much.

Amber - I had a devil of a time getting into it but fortunately, it's much easier to get out of. It just slips off like butter off a hot potato.... Oh, you like potatoes, don't you?

(Brigatti and Paul, dancing.)

Paul - Your husband and I seem to have a lot in common.

Brigatti - Oh?

Paul - We're both enamored of the same kind of woman.

Brigatti - I don't think so.

(Amber and Gary, dancing.)

Amber - You know what I like about you?

Gary - Mmm no.

Amber - You don't let all that money go to your head.

Gary - No. I... what money?

Amber - Your money silly. You see, Paul, he's a bit of a stuffed shirt, but you, you're just a regular fella. Looks like you work out, too.

Gary - My job keeps me pretty ac-- (he gasps as Amber grabs his butt) --tive.

Amber - Hmm. Nice glutes.

(Brigatti and Paul, dancing. Brigatti is glaring at Gary and Amber, and she trips.)

Paul - I'm sorry. Did I step on your toe?

Brigatti - I caught my heel. Thanks for dancing with me.

(She leaves almost before he has a chance to reply, and heads straight for Gary. On the way, she bumps hard into Amber.)

Amber - (to Gary) Later.

Brigatti - (to Gary) Did you have a nice time?

Gary - Not as nice as you, apparently.

Brigatti - It's my job.

Gary - Huh. Tough duty.

Brigatti - If you'd have been any closer to that bimbo, you'd have been inside her dress.

Gary - I was being polite.

Brigatti - Oh, is that what you call it?

Gary - It sounds to me like you think I was interested in her. That's not jealousy, is it?

Brigatti - Don't flatter yourself, Hobson. I couldn't care less who you bumps hips with. It's not like we’re married. It was just an act.

Gary - Oh, I'm well aware of that.

Brigatti - If I *was* married to you and you acted like that, I'd shoot you.

Gary - You wouldn't have to, 'cause if I was married to you, I'd shoot myself.

(Just then Paul and Amber come up with cocktails.)

Paul - To the happy couple

(Suddenly the lights go out. As the lights come up, Brigatti is checking for her necklace.)

Brigatti - Still there.

Woman at Ball – My watch! Somebody stole my diamond watch!

(Brigatti pulls out her gun.)

Brigatti - Chicago PD. Everybody freeze! Stay right where you are! Check all the exits. Nobody goes in or out without my say-so!

Undercover Cop - Detective, we found this hooked up to a fuse box.

Paul - What's going on?

Brigatti - We're here to catch a thief. How about if we start with you?

Paul - What? Do you think I stole that watch?

Brigatti - Among other things. (speaks to cop) Search him.

Paul - What? Do you think I'm that guy... um, the Iceman?

Amber - I thought you were from Cleveland.

(Cop finishes searching Paul)

Cop – Nothing.

Paul - I could have told you that.

Brigatti - Allow me. (She pats him down)

Paul - Well I hoped we'd get around to this eventually, but somehow I pictured it differently.

Brigatti - Take off your jacket.

(Brigatti finds the watch in a secret pocket of his jacket.)

Paul - I've never seen that before, I swear.

Brigatti - (to cop) Cuff him. Didn't know you had a secret pocket back there did ya?

Paul - I didn't!

Brigatti - We'll talk about it down at the station.

Amber - That creep!

Gary - Must be a terrible shock.

Amber - All this time he's been stealing fabulous jewelry and what do I get? A lousy charm for my bracelet! Say, does that mean you're a cop, too?

Gary - No. I was just helping out.

Amber - So, does that mean you're not married?

Gary - That's right.

Amber - Hmm. Dating?

Brigatti - Not even close.

Amber - Really?

Brigatti - Before you start salivating doll-face, you're gonna have to answer some questions about your boyfriend... the old one.

Amber - (to Gary) I'll be back.

(Gary grins. Amber starts to leave, but comes back and hands Gary a room key.)

Amber - Room 707.

Brigatti - Looks like it's your lucky night, Hobson.

Gary - Well you uh... do you need me for anything else?

Brigatti - No. We're finished.

(Gary’s loft. He walks slowly through the room, takes the rose from his buttonhole, smells its fragrance and lays it beside his radio. Next morning he gets the Paper and talks to Cat.)

Gary - How'd ya like stayin' in a 4-star hotel.

Cat - Meow.

Gary - Yeah. Don't get used to it.

(Headline in Paper reads: Lermontov Diamond Stolen. There's also a picture of Brigatti.)

Gary - She *has* the diamond!

Scene shows police, at the jewelers, returning the necklace.

Jeweler - Is this a joke? Where's the diamond?

Brigatti - You're holding it.

Jeweler - This isn't the Lermontov. This is a fake!

(Gary goes to police station. Talks to officer at desk.)

Gary - I need to talk to Detective Brigatti.

Officer - She's busy.

(Hearing shouting from the office of the chief of detectives, Gary looks in and sees Brigatti.)

Chief of Detectives - I want answers and I want them now! It was your operation. I'm holding you personally responsible! If you didn't take that diamond then who the hell did?

(Brigatti sees Gary before the Chief slams the door shut. Gary sees Amber talking to another officer.)

Amber - So, will that be all?

Officer - Don't leave town. We'll have more questions for you later.

Amber - I can't believe I let that man pull the wool over my eyes. I feel like such a chump!

(As Amber leaves and gets into her car. Gary starts to put the pieces together, races out and jumps into the car with Amber.)

Amber - (startled) Oh! Larry! I was hoping you'd *call*, but this is even better!

Gary - It's Gary, and you can drop the act.

Amber - Act?

Gary - Act -- as in make-believe. Performance. Masquerade. Sham. Honey, Paul Cantner's no jewel thief, but then again, you know that.

Amber - What are you talking about?

Gary - Paul is rich and well-connected but he's not the brightest bulb on the marquee. But you, on the other hand, well, you're a different story. Planting that watch on Paul!

Amber - Now why would I do that?

Gary - I think to hide the fact that you switched the real Lermontov with the fake.

A – (dropping the dumb act) Cute *and* smart! Hard to find in a guy. Most men, you bat your eyelids, flash a little cleavage, and their IQ drops 50 points.

Gary - There is one thing though. How did you find enough time - in the dark, that is - to switch the diamond and also plant the watch on Paul?

Amber - You're making it all too complicated, lover-boy. I made the switch in the afternoon.

Gary - How's that?

Amber - At the jewelry store. I thought I was going to have to bludgeon your partner into giving you that thank-you kiss. All you need is a little slight of hand and a good misdirect.

Gary - So all the excitement last night...

Amber - Oh I couldn't leave in the middle of the day, could I? How would it look? Besides, the cops wanted a thief so I gave them one.

Gary - That's very nice of you.

Amber - Please. Paul's not going to suffer. As soon as the cops realize they got the wrong guy they'll come looking for poor, dim - witted Amber. 'Course I won't *be* Amber by then, but that's *their* problem.

Gary - I'll tell you what. Why don't you turn this car around and we'll go back to the police station.

Amber - Sorry. I have other plans.

Gary - What? Are you gonna kidnap me?

Amber - Well, I'd rather you came along willingly. I'm a lot of fun when you get to know me.

Gary - No, thank you.

Amber - Didn't think so. Too All - American for that. Besides, you're hung up on that cop aren't you?

Gary - Brigatti? No. I'm afraid that was all an act.

Amber - Sure.

Gary - Look Amber, or whatever your name is... why don't you turn this car around right now?

Amber - Or what?

Gary - Or what? Or I'm gonna take you to the police station because sooner or later you're gonna have to stop this car.

Amber - Well you're no fun at all are you? Pity. Such a beautiful score too.

(She throws the necklace in the air and it lands on the tine of a rake on a passing trash truck stopping for a red light.)

Amber - So what'll it be? The lady or the diamond?

Gary - What?

Amber - Well your girlfriend's in a world of trouble. She may even be accused of stealing that diamond herself. How are you going to prove otherwise without that necklace?

(As the truck pulls away, Gary leaps out of the car and races for the truck. Amber drives away, watching Gary chase the truck.)

Gary - Stop the truck! Hey! Stop!!

Amber - Keep workin' on those glutes.

(Gary jumps onto the truck and maneuvers his way to the rake, nearly falling off in the process. The truck hits a pot-hole and the necklace starts to fly through the air, but Gary grabs it in time. The driver, finally seeing him in his side - view mirror, stops the truck and yells...)

Driver - Hey! What are ya doin' back there?

Gary - (getting off) Oh, I had to knock some ice off the truck.

***

(McGinty’s. A news reporter is shown on the television.)

TV Reporter – ...Several other jewels stolen by the “Ice - woman” in the Chicago area are still missing. “Now that we know who we're looking for, it's just a matter of time ‘till we catch her,” says the officer in charge of the investigation, Detective Antonia Brigatti.

(Gary, at bar, turns off the TV, and continues sorting receipts.)

Patrick - Wow! Some story.

Gary – (quietly) Yeah. All it's missing is an ending.

Marissa - You don't sound very happy, Gary.

Gary – (unhappy) Oh, I'm happy.

Marissa - Well, you should be. It's over. Now you can get back to your routine.

Gary - I'm happy!

Marissa – (not believing him) Well, when you're ready to talk about it, I'm here.

Brigatti – (from behind Gary) What's it take to get a little service around here?

Gary – (brightly – he’s happy to see her) Brigatti. Any leads on Amber?

Brigatti - I didn't come here to talk about her.

Gary - No?

Brigatti - You know why I'm here, Hobson.

(You can tell that Gary hopes her reason for being there is to talk about the possibility of there being something romantic between them, but he doesn’t want to be the first person to say it, in case it’s not the reason. And you can tell that Brigatti wants the same, but is also too afraid to be the first person to say anything.)

Gary – (evasively) I could guess.

Brigatti – (also evasively) Well?

Gary - Well, what?

(Brigatti realizes that he’s not going to broach the subject, has a moment of disappointment, then continues with her actual reason for being there.)

Brigatti - The wedding ring, Hobson.

Gary - The what?

Brigatti - The ring I gave you. It's police property. Let's have it.

(Gary finds the ring in his pocket and, somewhat reluctantly -- a brief thought of "what if" goes through is mind -- he hands it to Brigatti.)

Brigatti - What did ya think I was talking about?

Gary - Oh, nothing.

Brigatti – Well... see ya. Oh, and Hobson. Thanks.

Gary – You’re welcome.

Cat – Meow.
 

The end.

Many thanks to HarrietJ for sharing her fanscription of "The Iceman Taketh" – Thank you!

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